When I watched the first season of Girls, I was nineteen years old. I was still wrapped in my little university bubble, protected and supported by student finance and my parents. And that was totally fine because I was a teenager. Not an adult. Not a grownup. To me the lives of the Girls seemed great. Something funny and quirky and a long way off. But now I’m 22, I’ve been out of college about a year and a half, and I’m an intern living in an expensive capital city. Now Girls seems real to me. It’s lost the comedy aspect, now it’s just an anxiety producing nightmare show. These are my thoughts when rewatching the first four episodes for the first time as a twentysomething.
1. Oh my god. My parents are going to cut me off aren’t they? I’m going to have to quit my internships and move home and be a failure.
2. Do I have an STD?
3. Should I be getting checked for those?
4. I wonder if I could ever have an abortion?
5. Was this show this terrifying the first time I watched it?
6. I want to cry.
7. Do I dress my age? I hope I dress my age.
8. I identify less and less with Shoshanna every time I watch this show and that makes me very sad. Now we’re down to forever being the youngest in our friend groups and the occasional bouts of IBS.
9. ‘I am unfit for any and all paying jobs’ I feel ya Hannah.
10. Nah, I’m totally still Shoshanna. I have strange in detail knowledge of odd subjects and I’m embarrassingly naive in the areas I should know.
11. I wish I could drink alone in bars. When do you reach that point in your adult life?
12. Okay, she was just meeting a friend (well, gay ex-boyfriend… wow my life is dull compared to this show). But still, I always wait outside. I need to just go inside and order a white wine. GROWNUP STUFF.
13. Maybe I should wear more colour?
14. I know how it feels to be physically repulsed by someone you’re dating, but bleeeeh Marnie. Just break up with him. It feels great, I promise.
15. At least I have way more Twitter followers than Hannah.
16. Is that a good thing?
17. Marnie and Hannah are comfortable going to the bathroom together… my roommate leaves me piles of her shit in the toilet. Hmmm.
18. Is that Gloria from OITNB? Should get my Netflix account back? Wait, I have no money.
19. Is this a good use of my time?
20. I am British and run away to other countries to escape my problems like Jessa… so should I buy a pair of weird patterned giant tent pants?
21. I would not date Adam. I feel like I would have dated Adam at 19. Is this what personal growth is like?
22. I should have accomplished more with my life by now.