I’m not sure if I’ve ever fully expressed my love for her on here, but I really love this wonderful human being called Sibby. My earliest memory of her is from sometime back in primary school, pretending to be a dog and barking at passers by on top of the hill in our playground. After that I remember her as an eleven year old in a big puffy winter jacket. I think it had tassels. I remember her being a huge emo goth baby, I remember her forays into fashion blogging, and I remember her buying me a House Targaryen necklace for my birthday… although admittedly that one was only in July.
As I’ve mentioned many times previously, there’s not much I really miss from the UK. But Sibby is one of those few things. I guess I don’t completely hate her like I do most people. But for some terrible, awful, ridiculous reason, in the three months I’ve been in Madrid, Sibby has not come to visit me. If I lived in France I’m sure it’d be another story, but apparently Spain isn’t good enough for Her Royal Highness of Lametopia. So here I have compiled a list of reasons for Sibby to come to Madrid and see how much less of a complete failure of a human being I am here.
1. I’ve mentioned it before, but wine. Wine here is great and cheap and amazing. I can get a bottle of vino blanco for a mere 2€ and have it not just be tolerable… but actually really good. How much relationship and just general life advice could we both spew out on 2€ wine? You’d probably go home with your entire life planned out for the next ten years.
2. Secondly, what goes better with wine than food? And in Spain, that food is usually free! The wonderful world of tapas is generally hit or miss… but since you’re one of those pesky meat eaters, I’m sure you’ll get along fine with it. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be sat crying over the complimentary bowl of olives.
3. There’s also the major selling point that it’s not Hull. I mean, do I really have to expand on this any further?
4. A fun little part of your trip to Spain will also be hearing me attempt to speak Spanish. It includes such highlights as asking perfectly grammatically correct questions, but not understanding whatever is said back to me, awkward laughing, and constant repeating of the phrase ‘shit, shit, I know how to say this… lemme think’.
5. Can we go back to food and drink already? Because that really is my main selling point here. We covered wine, but Tinto de Verano is my true love here. I can take you to a place where you can get a giant tankard of it for 1.50€. Think about that for a second. And don’t be letting anyone tell you to get Sangria. No. Stop. Bad. My (rented) roof, my rules. We are Tinto people.
6. I can finally tell you what all those grammatical terms we bullshitted throughout our A Levels really meant. And whilst we’re at it… baby, I’ll auxiliary your verb.
7. There’s museums and art and culture and pretty architecture and all the stuff that I probably should be telling you about to get you to come here, but let’s get back to the important issues: hot Spanish guys. When they’re not sexually harassing you on the street they’re pretty nice really.
8. Speaking of harassment, there is a strange goat creature in Plaza Mayor. You’re either gonna love it or it’ll give you nightmares for the rest of your life. I am excited to introduce you to the horror.
9. I also couldn’t write this list without including one of my favourite things about living in Madrid: THERE’S SO MANY CUTE DOGS, SIOBHAN. They are everywhere. On the streets wagging their little doggy tails, outside restaurants begging for food, and even, if you’re really lucky, inside the bars being really freaking adorable. Of course, when I see a dog I immediately forget how to function like a basic human being and just start making high pitched noises at it (the universal language for ‘hi, I like your dog’). People kind of hate it, but I haven’t touched a cat since July so this is all I’ve got really.
10. There’s also the pseudo-serious reason that you’ll get to see the New And Improved Rosy Parrish. I wake up early, I go outside, I function like a -kind of- adult. I have an apartment and an (unpaid, part time) job. I mean, I still can get sent into a major state of panic when the slightest thing goes wrong– but I’m working on that part. Would UK Rosy have ever tried Internet dating? Nope. She would have just accepted that she was to stay single forever. I’m fully convinced Madrid is a magical place, or there’s at least some chemicals in the air– ‘cause it’s kind of terrifying what a warmer temperature and a decent public transportation system can do to a person.
11. And finally, for a bonus reason, you’d get to bring me my Nintendo 3DS so I can play the new Pokémon game. Old habits and all that.
So there you have it. Some really well researched and totally not biased reasons on why you should come visit me in España. Your move, Harmer.