TV | Five (Female) Fictional Crushes


The wise words of Mindy Lahiri in The Mindy Project say it best here, ‘I hate when people say girl crush, no one’s gonna think you’re a lesbian if you just say crush’, and there are so many amazing female fictional characters out there, it felt wrong to limit this series only to men… animated or otherwise. I’m all for girl power and celebrating women, and what better way to do that than to list the smart, witty, talented women of television that also happen to be super cute… animated or otherwise (*cough*).

1) Nicky Nichols, Orange is the New Black:

I was pretty much spoilt for choice with this show, because there’s a whole range of amazing female characters in OITNB. Alex Vause and Poussey Washington almost made the list, but Nicky is my favourite. For starters, I wish I could get my hair that voluminous. She’s also a total badass who’s not afraid to get what she wants, and she really works that prison uniform. She also shows a sensitive side though, comforting Alex and Morello on various occasions, as well as not been afraid to call Piper out on her idiocy (finaaaaaally). We really need more Nicky-focused episodes in season three, because to me she’s ten times more interesting than this will they/won’t they Alex and Piper thing. Please just stop.

2) Elliot Reid, Scrubs:

I’ve watched Scrubs for a very long time, and I’ve gone from loving Elliot, to hating her, to loving her again. Yeah, she can be a bit neurotic and whiney– but I’m a bit neurotic and whiney. It’s so refreshing to see a character who struggles with anxiety but who still manages to be successful whilst following her own instincts. I just wanna sit and drink a bottle of wine with her and talk about our self esteem issues and maybe cry a little. It probably also helps that I have a huge crush on Zach Braff, so of course I’m gonna want to project onto her. Also, she must be doing something right if even the Janitor is nice to her. That’s a real achievement.

3) Tara Maclay, Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

If you honestly thought I was going to get through a list of my favourite fictional characters without including someone from Buffy, you were so, so mistaken. Tara probably isn’t the obvious choice to be included on my list of crushes, she’s not even my overall favourite female character on the show (Willow, followed by Anya, if anyone was wondering), but she’s definitely the type of person I’d want to be around. She’s caring, smart, and funny– whilst also being super awkward and shy when she’s first introduced to the Scoobies. She’s also a pretty great witch, something that definitely adds a few bonus points. Dorky 1990s/2000s fashion aside, she’s someone I’d be proud to call a friend, and she’s not someone who could be replaced easily, Kennedy.

4) Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl:

I’ve already included Chuck on one of these lists, so it was obvious that Blair was going to follow, if not for the reason that I could borrow from her amazing wardrobe. Blair is everything I wish to be in life– and a few things I’d rather not. She’s confident, a perfectionist, and ridiculously wealthy (ummm). As well as being a tad abrasive, obsessive, and, well, a bit of a bitch. She’s cultured and intelligent, and although I don’t agree with all her methods, she gets stuff done. Her brief romantic stint with Dan also showed a new side to her, one that’s definitely more Brooklyn than the Upper East Side, and I totally dig it.

5) Marceline the Vampire Queen, Adventure Time:

Of course there was gonna be another animated character, who do you think you’re dealing with here? Marceline is the coolest girl ever– living or dead. She’s musically gifted, has an amazing sense of style (which is unusual for an animated character– seeing as they usually wear the same outfit for sixteen seasons), and is pretty much a total rockstar. Plus, she can transform herself into terrifying creatures, why would you not want that in your life? We also both like to be alone and have emotional attachments to our stuffed animals, which is a quality I definitely favour. I don’t even care that she’s over a thousand years old, her age doesn’t seem to get to her and she still seems super fun. Anyone who can boss around the Ice King is cool in my books (get it, cool? Haaaa).

I felt like my blog was lacking on the lazily hidden feminist propaganda, so I hope this does the job. Celebrate femininity! Grrrrl power! All that good stuff. Maybe I should stop living in a fantasy world (or several, if these lists are anything to go by), but I have just over a month now until I run off to Madrid, so I’m gonna keep watching TV and talking about it until then, so you better get used to it. It’s a lot more interesting than blogging about estate agents and how terrible my grasp of the Spanish language is, trust me. Yo cocino una papa!


Author: Rosanna Parrish

Brit exiled in Spain.

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