LIFE | Emoji Investigation


You can tell a lot about a person by their list of recently used emojis. Unfortunately, it’s a little hard to sneak a good look at them, and even weirder to come right out and ask. This is why I think everyone should just routinely release a list of their recently used emojis so people can get an idea about ~who they truly are inside~.

The sunglasses emoji is my favourite and I use it all the time for a whole range of reasons. It’s an obvious one, it clearly means that I’m super cool, or maybe it really means that I’m so completely uncool that I think popularity and validation are based on your choice of eyewear. Ehhhh… moving on. My next choice of emoji is poop, which is a bit of a contrast, but just go with it. It’s how I express my complete disappointment at everything in my life. Everything is a poop. The pizza is pretty self explanatory, it’s my life source and a beacon of hope shining brightly through all of life’s problems. However, it could also show that I’m a giant unoriginal Internet cliché. It’s your call. I like that the heart eyes emoji is next to the pizza, because that’s usually a pretty common pairing. Not much else warrants the use of heart eyes, just pizza and when my cat does something cute. I’m way too goth for happiness, duh.

The Spanish flag is a bit of a wild card, because prior to last month I wouldn’t have used it at all. As I’ve briefly mentioned before, I’m moving to Madrid in July, and this emoji is how I let people know how totally cool and exciting I am for doing this, whilst also complaining about how the only thing I can say in Spanish is ‘I cook a potato’. Unimpressed face is pretty much just my general outlook on life, and how people find out what a happy and optimistic person I really am. I must use this face at least twice a day in texts, and wish my face could perfectly mimic it in the irl. My positive attitude towards life is once again evidenced by my use of the thumbs up emoji. This stems back to the MSN years, when (Y) was probably my most used phrase, both online and offline (I would literally say ‘bracket why bracket’ to sarcastically congratulate people, I was a dick). I don’t think I’ve physically given someone a thumbs up in years, so I’m not really sure why I do it so much in texts. It’s very Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. The red heart is how I express love and affection without actually having to use words, because I am emotionally dead inside unless I’m watching TV or looking at animals.

I’m gonna be honest here, I’m not entirely sure why the train carriage emoji is even in the list. I think I used it once repeatedly in an attempt to draw a train. It might not look like a huge insight into my psych, but it at least gives you a look at how I spend my free time. Which let’s be real here, is all my time. Moon face is kind of the same, I just like to put about seven of them in one text instead of using words– they can mean literally anything. I think it shows how much of a poop emoji (see what I did there?) I can be, but I just love that moon. I use the skull because I’m so totally dangerous and deadly, or so totally in denial about my life. I think we all know which one is the case here. I can’t explain the turtle either, which might mean I suffer from short term emoji disorder… which is totally a thing, shut up.

The aubergine is how I express my affection to Sibby, although I’m not exactly sure why, because she’s kind of terrible. Ghost is because I’m super spooky, and like to pretend that I’m Edgar Allen Poe. Some people have ravens, I have floating sheets with eyes. A lot of these emojis have touched on my (supposed) lack of emotional depth (thanks, mum!), but I do have really strong feelings for pigeons. Sometimes when I see them and I think they look sad I start to cry. If that’s not proof of how emotionally tortured I am, then I don’t know what is. Move over, Poe! Move over, Lenore! I’m also an emoji flirt, what can I say? I’m pretty reserved I’m real life, but I will give everyone kisses over text. I’m like the Russell Brand of emojis. The plane is so I can fly away from all my problems… or more literally fly to Madrid, but the other one definitely seems more artistic and symbolic, so we’ll go for that. Same for the sun, so we’ll skip on the explanation here. I’m surprised the cocktail emoji hasn’t popped up here too.

What even if this next emoji? I just use it to express embarrassment, which is pretty much my entire life, so you can see why it would appear in this list. Shocked face is just that, a shocked face. I don’t think I ever really receive much shocking news over text, so this mainly illustrates what a sarcastic little shit I am. It’s a good representation of me. Finally we have the awkward face, which I initially started using because it reminded me of Pokémon. Awkwardness pretty much laces my entire existence, and life would be a lot simpler if that anime water drop thing happened in real life too. It’s much better than turning into a tomato.

I hope this was a good insight into the inner workings of Rosy and that you feel you have a better knowledge of who I really am (like you cared to begin with). From this I have established that I am a self deprecating, slightly abrasive pessimist with little to no self confidence, who is occasionally capable of saying nice things… as long as I’m sure people won’t think I’m lame for doing so. It’s a fun life.

Heart eyes emoji, kissing emoji, aubergine emoji. >


Author: Rosanna Parrish

Brit exiled in Spain.

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