LIFE | Emoji Investigation


You can tell a lot about a person by their list of recently used emojis. Unfortunately, it’s a little hard to sneak a good look at them, and even weirder to come right out and ask. This is why I think everyone should just routinely release a list of their recently used emojis so people can get an idea about ~who they truly are inside~.

The sunglasses emoji is my favourite and I use it all the time for a whole range of reasons. It’s an obvious one, it clearly means that I’m super cool, or maybe it really means that I’m so completely uncool that I think popularity and validation are based on your choice of eyewear. Ehhhh… moving on. My next choice of emoji is poop, which is a bit of a contrast, but just go with it. It’s how I express my complete disappointment at everything in my life. Everything is a poop. The pizza is pretty self explanatory, it’s my life source and a beacon of hope shining brightly through all of life’s problems. However, it could also show that I’m a giant unoriginal Internet cliché. It’s your call. I like that the heart eyes emoji is next to the pizza, because that’s usually a pretty common pairing. Not much else warrants the use of heart eyes, just pizza and when my cat does something cute. I’m way too goth for happiness, duh.

The Spanish flag is a bit of a wild card, because prior to last month I wouldn’t have used it at all. As I’ve briefly mentioned before, I’m moving to Madrid in July, and this emoji is how I let people know how totally cool and exciting I am for doing this, whilst also complaining about how the only thing I can say in Spanish is ‘I cook a potato’. Unimpressed face is pretty much just my general outlook on life, and how people find out what a happy and optimistic person I really am. I must use this face at least twice a day in texts, and wish my face could perfectly mimic it in the irl. My positive attitude towards life is once again evidenced by my use of the thumbs up emoji. This stems back to the MSN years, when (Y) was probably my most used phrase, both online and offline (I would literally say ‘bracket why bracket’ to sarcastically congratulate people, I was a dick). I don’t think I’ve physically given someone a thumbs up in years, so I’m not really sure why I do it so much in texts. It’s very Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. The red heart is how I express love and affection without actually having to use words, because I am emotionally dead inside unless I’m watching TV or looking at animals.

I’m gonna be honest here, I’m not entirely sure why the train carriage emoji is even in the list. I think I used it once repeatedly in an attempt to draw a train. It might not look like a huge insight into my psych, but it at least gives you a look at how I spend my free time. Which let’s be real here, is all my time. Moon face is kind of the same, I just like to put about seven of them in one text instead of using words– they can mean literally anything. I think it shows how much of a poop emoji (see what I did there?) I can be, but I just love that moon. I use the skull because I’m so totally dangerous and deadly, or so totally in denial about my life. I think we all know which one is the case here. I can’t explain the turtle either, which might mean I suffer from short term emoji disorder… which is totally a thing, shut up.

The aubergine is how I express my affection to Sibby, although I’m not exactly sure why, because she’s kind of terrible. Ghost is because I’m super spooky, and like to pretend that I’m Edgar Allen Poe. Some people have ravens, I have floating sheets with eyes. A lot of these emojis have touched on my (supposed) lack of emotional depth (thanks, mum!), but I do have really strong feelings for pigeons. Sometimes when I see them and I think they look sad I start to cry. If that’s not proof of how emotionally tortured I am, then I don’t know what is. Move over, Poe! Move over, Lenore! I’m also an emoji flirt, what can I say? I’m pretty reserved I’m real life, but I will give everyone kisses over text. I’m like the Russell Brand of emojis. The plane is so I can fly away from all my problems… or more literally fly to Madrid, but the other one definitely seems more artistic and symbolic, so we’ll go for that. Same for the sun, so we’ll skip on the explanation here. I’m surprised the cocktail emoji hasn’t popped up here too.

What even if this next emoji? I just use it to express embarrassment, which is pretty much my entire life, so you can see why it would appear in this list. Shocked face is just that, a shocked face. I don’t think I ever really receive much shocking news over text, so this mainly illustrates what a sarcastic little shit I am. It’s a good representation of me. Finally we have the awkward face, which I initially started using because it reminded me of Pokémon. Awkwardness pretty much laces my entire existence, and life would be a lot simpler if that anime water drop thing happened in real life too. It’s much better than turning into a tomato.

I hope this was a good insight into the inner workings of Rosy and that you feel you have a better knowledge of who I really am (like you cared to begin with). From this I have established that I am a self deprecating, slightly abrasive pessimist with little to no self confidence, who is occasionally capable of saying nice things… as long as I’m sure people won’t think I’m lame for doing so. It’s a fun life.

Heart eyes emoji, kissing emoji, aubergine emoji. >


FILM | The Fault in Our Cliché Teenage Rom Com

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I first read The Fault in Our Stars when it came out two years ago, and I’ll be honest here, I really liked it. I read it in one sitting, allowing breaks for tears, and felt I finally got the whole John Green mania that I hadn’t felt since I read Looking for Alaska at age sixteen. However, in the years that have followed I guess I’ve gotten over the whole teenage love thing, or had my heart turn to stone, because the film adaptation of The Fault in Our Stars did nothing for me. For a book that I couldn’t put down, the TFiOS movie sure did bore me. All I could think of throughout this film was that I wished I was watching it on Netflix so I could pause it and switch to an episode of The Office or something to make my brain interested in being alive again. It was so mind numbing that I didn’t even care when I missed some dramatic love reveal when I went on my allotted bathroom break.

The time gaps in the film felt lazy to me, and I didn’t really know if a day had passed, or even a week or a month. The problem is that I haven’t touched the book since it came out, so I can’t really talk about how much of a faithful adaptation it was. This means that I don’t know if I should be blaming shoddy filmmaking or John Green’s writing for the parts of the film I didn’t like. The pacing just felt off to me. I wish I could think of a more eloquent way to describe it, but that’s the only word coming to mind. Nothing in the movie felt real to me. The lack of chemistry between Hazel and Gus was glaringly apparent throughout the film and I found it really hard to believe that they were ‘soooo in loooooove’. Everything was just so dramatic. Real people don’t act like that. I mean, I knew that Hazel and Gus were pretentious little shits in the book but it really was something else in the film. From the first moment they met when they were staring at each other with creepy arched eyebrows I knew that I wasn’t going to like this pairing. Speaking of eyebrows, every time there was a closeup of Shailene Woodley’s face I had to look away; terrible eyebrows make me cringe. I don’t know if it was a conscious decision from the makeup department or if that’s just what Woodley’s eyebrows look like, but it was very distracting. Mainly I think I was just trying to pick faults with this film. Eyebrows included.

I will admit to liking some aspects of the film; Shailene Woodley was okay when she wasn’t being emotionally dead inside with Ansel Elgort. I really liked Nat Wolff’s performance, his chemistry with Elgort was so believable I think that maybe he should have played Hazel. The adults in the movie pretty much made the film for me; Willem Dafoe as van Houten, Laura Dern as Hazel’s mum (I love you, Dr Sattler!), and Sam Trammell as Hazel’s dad (hottest person in the film, even when he’s not running around naked in Bon Temps) were all excellent and I wish they had more screen time. They didn’t though, because this film was made to appeal to teenagers. Particularly the type of teenagers who worship John Green like a god, the ones who think he’s still a hidden gem nobody outside of YouTube has heard of, and feel like they’re so artsy and intelligent because of this. The film was the perfect embodiment of that– it looked like every teenage rom com in the past five years had thrown up on it. Bright colours, choppy editing, and a character narration messing with the linear timeline of the film don’t make a great cinematic masterpiece– it’s been done before and it will be done again and I’m already really bored of it. But I guarantee that the minions of this book will be demanding it wins an Oscar.

I dread to think how many teenagers have rudely started sucking each other’s faces in the Anne Frank house thanks to this book, and how many more will do it because of the film. First the Justin Bieber incident, now this. Maybe I would have liked this movie more when I was eighteen, or maybe age has not thing to do with it and I would have found it average at best then too. Going to see it wasn’t a total waste though, I did get a big coke and a nice sandwich.

I give this movie 2/5 stars. It’s probably worth watching on TV but I don’t recommend wasting your money on it. I definitely should have gone to see Maleficent.

FAVOURITES | Monthly Musings #3 (May 2014)

This whole blogging kinda regularly thing went super well, huh? In my defence, I’ve been proactive and actually started to take control of my own life throughout the month of May (instead of my usual routine of sitting in bed watching TV and reading my job rejection emails). I’m in the process of planning a move to Madrid, which is very exciting, but it’s not what I’m here to talk about right now. I’m here to spread positivity by telling you all about my favourite things, in the least Julie Andrews-like way possible.

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1. NARS Highlighting Blush Powder in Albatross:

Technically I only bought this highlighter because I ordered a foundation pump on the NARS website and thought it was a bit ridiculous that the postage cost was more than the actual product itself. So I added this into my basket on a whim, as I’d seen it recommended on various blogs and was in the market for a new highlighter anyway. A powder highlighter was a new product for me, as I’ve only ever used liquid or cream types before, but I really do love it. It definitely jazzes my face up a bit, especially since I’ve abandoned my usual emo eyes in favour of a more neutral look. It also works like a dream with NARS Sheer Glow. I’m really digging my makeup routine this year.

2. Orange Is The New Black:

This is not a new favourite, but a constant one. I recently watched the entirety of season two in just over 24 hours. It wasn’t as impressive a time as some people managed, but I have to sleep sometimes, okay? It took me a few episodes to get into it, and at first I was worried it wasn’t living up to my expectations (the Piper-centric first episode was not a good start for me, she is the worst), but it soon won me over. My favourite episodes were the ones based on Morello and Poussey and the season finale. Miss Rosa is amazing… although I did somehow manage to get through almost two seasons of the show thinking she was Russian? Rosa is such a Russian name, clearly.

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3. Office Red Patent Shoes:

These beauties actually featured on my April Wish List, and although I originally told myself I wouldn’t buy them because they have a ‘leather sock’ (????), I caved when I stumbled into Office and realised they had 20% off. I’m weak, okay? I’m so sorry cows, I know I’m a terrible person. They pretty much are the perfect shoe though. The heel is low and chunky enough to wear in the daytime, but they also transition really well into night because of the bright colour so I get to save room in my suitcase. I’m pretty much just using Madrid as an excuse to buy new clothes and I’m loving it.

4. Brand New- Your Favourite Weapon:

I always love rediscovering an old favourite, and Brand New definitely were one of my most listened to bands back in the day. Although I’ve always been a total cliché and claimed that Sic Transit Gloria was my favourite Brand New song (and believe me, it definitely spent a long stint as my Myspace profile song), recently I’ve found myself listening to Your Favorite Weapon an awful lot more than I used to. Jude Law and a Semester Abroad, Sudden Death in Carolina, and Soco Amaretto Lime are my favourites, and definitely go perfectly with this amazing weather we’ve been having recently. Can I be 14 again now please?

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5. The Body Shop Tea Tree Skin Clearing Foaming Cleanser:

I know that I’ve already expressed my love for Superdrug’s tea tree range before, but recently I found myself in The Body Shop and all the green caught my eye. It’s like I have a spidey sense for tea tree oil. This cleanser is a godsend. I’ve mentioned before that I seem to be allergic to most things you can put on your face, so I’m always a little wary when trying out new products. But I am in love. I use this twice a day; once in the morning and once at night, and within two days I’d already seen a noticeable difference to my blemishes. My skin also feels absolutely amazing after using it, and I have to physically stop myself from rubbing my hands all over my face and audibly moaning. I know some people don’t like the smell of tea tree oil, but to me it smells of… clean. If you have blemished skin then I definitely recommend this product, even more so than the truckload of other tea tree products I have in my bathroom.

May was apparently a good month, as I managed to bring this list back up to five and not include a cereal on it like last month. I still really do love All Bran though.