I am determined to make May 2014 my month of change; the personal renaissance that I had hoped to experience when I was pried from the safety of student life. On Friday May 2nd I went to the hairdressers. This may not seem like a big deal to any normal functioning member of society, but it is to me, and it’s not only because I think all hairdressers are against me. I have been blonde since I was fifteen years old. Even before that, I had blonde chunks in my hair a la the Myspace era, and even before that I had pined to be blonde thanks to my not-so-healthy tweenage obsession with Paris Hilton. Sure, I’ve experimented with pink and dipdyes and a brief stint at being a redhead last year, but being blonde was my thing. I hung to it like a security blanket.
Blonde was what I knew and I was too afraid to ever really change it for good. After all, I’d worked so hard to get there, from the pain of the bleach to living as a ginger for the first few weeks. I’ve been so wrapped up in this dream of blonde that I was completely in denial about how terrible condition my hair was in or how badly I needed to cut it. But this month I took the plunge. I went into the hairdressers looking how I have for pretty much the past six years, and came out looking like I never have before. It was scary, but if I can do it on the outside, I can do it on the inside. I am a pretty defective person, I am aware that I live in a bubble in an attempt to make my life easier. But I want to change it all and become a better human being, and there is no better way to start than with a list.
Things I Need To Learn:
- The actual names for basic household items, like the ‘clappy things’ or ‘giant tweezers’ that I used to get food from the oven with.
- How to portion control pasta. I know that it grows, but how can that little an amount turn into such a giant heap of food… that I still manage to eat.
- That not everything in the world is out to get me, and to stop ignoring all the good things that happen to me in favour of pessimism. I’m sure that my last hairdresser didn’t give me chemical burns on purpose, and that the one before that didn’t cut my hair hair diagonally just to spite me, or that the one before that made me look like an alter boy to… actually, no. Hairdressers really do want to make my life a misery.
- All the things that I know exist but don’t know what they actually do, such as council houses. I’ve listened to Rupert Giles tell me how I can get one, but not why they even exist.
- Probably some music that doesn’t make me seem like the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde of all thirteen year olds. I love My Chemical Romance and Taylor Swift in equal amounts, but I’ve learnt that these apparently aren’t acceptable answers to ‘so, what music do you like?’.
- Whether ironing clothes is really necessary. I’ve never ironed anything I own and I don’t think (at least I hope) that I look like a giant mess. So what is the actual deal with irons? Something isn’t right here, I’m onto them.
- How to say no to people. I may not look like the type of person who can be ‘too nice’, because I’m pretty vocal when I think someone is being, uh, problematic. But about 60% of things I do, I wish wasn’t doing. I just don’t like to see people upset. If I do garner the courage to say no to something, you can bet that I probably made some elaborate lie about how sick I was to get out of it. I need to learn that ‘nah, I think I’d rather stay in and read a book tonight’ is an okay response to people.
- That those foods that I don’t like might not actually be so bad. For the first nineteen years of my life I was completely adamant that I hated tomatoes, and now it turns out that I actually kinda like them. Maybe it’s time to give celery a go.
- To pretty much expand my horizons in general. Recently my mother complemented me on not buying all my clothes in Topshop anymore, and a while ago I made a blogpost about reading different genres of books. All these things seem to be for the better, and combined with my new haircut and colour (wheeey, we came full circle), I really think that it’s time to step out of my comfort zone.
- Basic maths, probably. My dream is to get a correct answer on the numbers round on Countdown without pausing the TV.
There you have it. The recipe for a new and improved Rosy. I guess it really all comes down to trying new things, and not just about my hair this time. Clearly the direction I was going in with my year long job hunt wasn’t working for me, so I’m gonna mix things up a bit and see where that takes me. I will not be a wallflower anymore. I am Rosanna Parrish, hear me roar… and also rhyme.
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet *winky face Emoji*.